stephen R Harrison

The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives. – Proverbs 18:7

While it’s generally true a man uses fewer words than a woman, his words still matter. Godly men must choose their words carefully as they affect those around them. Fewer words don’t always equal wise words. Our words are connected to our actions and attitudes and can bless or obliterate relationships in every sector of life. I remember a time early in marriage when I wasn’t using my words in a healthy manner. I didn’t know how to speak in a way that brought encouragement, promoted unity, and caused my marriage to flourish. This wasn’t because my parents were destructive in their words toward one another (or their kids). They were mainly quiet people whose parents never taught them to invest words in the people they love. My words were not mean. They just weren’t as meaningful as they needed to be. Careless communication can be expressed through harmful speech and limited speech. There are foolish words I should never use, but an absence of words can be equally detrimental to my family. 

Solomon spends most of Proverbs 18 teaching about speech that can destroy relationships. In verse 1, the “unfriendly” man can be selfish, giving no thought whatsoever to the wellbeing of others. Verse 2 warns us not to “air our own opinions” in a way that hurts others. Our words reflect our hearts. Fools do not want sound advice or instruction about how they talk and will say whatever comes to mind without filtering it through the wisdom of the Word and the Spirit. I must be a man who learns to proactively pray, bless, and encourage those around me with wise words.

Our words are “deep waters” (4). Deep water can be a good or bad thing. Deep doesn’t necessarily mean profound. Our words shouldn’t be “surface” or shallow either. Compared to the second part of the verse, where waters are flowing, we must be careful our words aren’t stagnant but life-giving. We must allow the wisdom the Lord brings into our lives through time spent in fellowship in his word and presence to flow into those around us. Our words can either bless or curse. They can be a weight that drags people to the bottom of the ocean or floats them along a river of life.

We can say many foolish things with our mouths that result in devastating consequences. According to verses 6-7, a fool’s mouth brings strife, his undoing, and traps. It also “invites a beating”! If your mouth constantly gets you into arguments, conflict, and ruin, it’s time to change your words and heart. Gossip (7) “goes down to a man’s inmost parts.” Jesus said our mouths reflect our hearts (Luke 6:45). He said what comes out of our mouths results from what has been stored in our hearts. Solomon connects the heart and words in chapter 18 (12, 15) to listening. That’s why spending time in God’s Word is so important. We must be men who meditate, memorize, and speak God’s Word multiple times daily so it transforms our way of life, not just corrects our speech. We must listen to the Lord, allow Him to shape our hearts, and tame our tongues.

Solomon continues in chapter 18 by saying our mouths can invite a myriad of results, including shame (13), strength (14), crushing (15), confusion (17), offense (19), satisfaction (20), life (21), death (21), fruit (21), mercy (23), cruelty (23), and companionship (24). We choose fruit with our lips. It will either be bitter and rotten or sweet and nourishing. Proverbs 18 men choose and use their words wisely. 

Questions to Ponder

1. Would others consider your words to be life-giving?
2. How have your words built or burned others?
3. What verse stands out the most to you?
4. What other questions came to mind?

Actions to Take

1. When it comes to sinful words, what have you struggled with the most? (gossip, lies, abuse, slander, anger, etc.)
2. As you read Proverbs 18, what verses, phrases, or words impact you?

Scriptures to Read

Proverbs 10:19, 12:18, 13:3, 17:28, 21:23

Prayers to Pray

Jesus, help me say what you would say. May my words reflect a heart that your grace has redeemed. Change my heart, mind, and attitude to reflect your Word and heart when I speak. Keep me from hurtful, sarcastic, destructive speech. May what I say bring life from your Spirit to all who hear. In Jesus’ name, Amen.