stephen R Harrison

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. – Proverbs 27:6

I trusted my dad. His words and actions were consistent and loving. He did not make irrational decisions. I knew he would not belittle or be rude if I had a question. I could guess his reaction to anything that happened. Why? He was trustworthy. He was not reckless in his relationships because he valued people. He was a trusted man. I was not the only one who felt that way. My mom trusted him. He was a faithful and loving husband. His friends trusted him. People often asked him for advice because he was gentle and truthful in his counsel. His church trusted him. He was a deacon in two churches I grew up in and was often my Sunday School teacher (once the Sunday School Superintendent). 

What does it mean to be a trusted man? Solomon wrote many proverbs about being a trusted man of character. As I read chapter 27, I was reminded of many characteristics that cause others to trust (or distrust). In verse 2, he warned about praising yourself. “Let another praise you” is wise advice. A person who constantly brags about themselves repels others. A person who provokes others will not be considered trustworthy (3). Who wants to approach someone who harasses or belittles others? Anger and envy are not qualities of a man who can be trusted (4). Wise men allow the Lord to temper them and control their jealousy. 

Solomon was quick to stick to addressing a man’s character. He knew if a man allowed God to shape his inner self, his outer self would line up. A man must be counted on and be at home when it comes to his home (8). He must be available – present. How can he be trusted if he is never there to display his character and spend time with his family? Likewise, a man who never spends time with his friends communicates that he doesn’t care. How can anyone depend on a man they never see (10)? In our first couple of years of marriage, I spent a lot of time at the church. I neglected my wife at times. Once, I spent her whole Christmas break painting children’s classrooms instead of being with her while she wasn’t teaching. I wanted her to know I loved spending time with her. Do you know what communicates “I want to be with you” more than anything else? Being with someone!

A Proverbs 27 man can be trusted because they do not treat people with contempt but joy (11). They delight in being with people. I know when people want to spend time with me and when they don’t. Those who express the desire to spend time together genuinely are people I trust. A friend helps others when they need it (13). Their actions are not misinterpreted as insincere. A trusted man allows others growing in their faith, especially the more mature, to speak into their lives (17). Trusted men trust others. He knows his heart is the root cause of his actions, so he wants it to be like Christ’s (19). He wants to be known as a man of character. I regularly meet with other guys to help sharpen my heart. I meet with two older pastors several times yearly for advice and wisdom. 

Proverbs 27 men “know the condition of their flocks” (23). They discern their spouses’ needs. They consider their children’s requirements. They are sensitive to others and not caught up in selfishness. They ask their family good questions because they genuinely want to be connected and helpful. Solomon said that knowing those around us (the condition of our flocks) will result in blessings (24-27). These blessings are for the man and everyone with whom he is close. These people trust the Proverbs 27 man because he is humble, teachable, reliable, available, and gentle. 

Questions to Ponder

1. Are you humble, teachable, reliable, available, and gentle?
2. What keeps you from being trusted? 
3. What verse stands out the most to you?
4. What other questions came to mind?

Actions to Take

1. List those you trust.
2. Write down the reasons you trust them.
3. List those you believe trust you.
4. Write down the reasons you believe they trust you.

Scriptures to Read

Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:20, 22:17-19, 29:25

Prayers to Pray

Lord, I want to be trustworthy. I know that when I begin to doubt you, I haven’t spent enough time with you in your word and through prayer. I want to trust you more and have you change my heart and actions to be trustworthy. Please help me be humble, teachable, reliable, available, and gentle. In Jesus’ name, Amen.