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Proverbs 5 Men: Staying Sexually Pure

A Proverbs 5 man knows God created sex for procreation and pleasure to be inside the boundaries of marriage for one man and one woman for a lifetime.  Anything outside of God’s design for sex is sin and a godly man realizes that sexual sin will destroy and disappoint.   God isn’t trying to deprive sexual enjoyment by establishing boundaries.  He is actually protecting and enhancing the blessings and enjoyment sex can bring in the marriage relationship.  After all, He created everything, including sex, and knows best for us.  He desires that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).  Sex comes after and only in biblical marriage.  That’s why Adam and Eve were united in Genesis 2:24 and they aren’t naked till verse 25!  That verse goes on to say doing it that way will not produce any shame.  My wife and I have enjoyed a 100% faithful marriage for 20 years and even remained sexually pure while we dated all throughout high school and college.  We were taught early on the Biblical boundaries and blessings of marriage, purity, and fidelity.  That doesn’t mean life has been without temptation and struggle.  But God is able to help anyone overcome temptation from lust and all sexual sin (1 Corinthians 10:13). 

In Proverbs 5, Solomon warns the reader to stay away from “the adulterous woman”.   While this may be a specific person you need to avoid because they are tempting you towards lust and sexual sin, Solomon was personifying lust to drive home his point.  He cautioned us to get God’s wisdom, insight, knowledge, and discretion (vv. 1-2) to avoid the seductive, alluring, deception of lust as it will bring destruction and leave you empty.  Sexual sin will rob from you in bigger ways than you think!  In the moment of temptation, we are deceived to think choosing the sexual sin will never harm us, but in reality it harms everyone around us.  Solomon said sexual sin robs our honor and dignity (v. 9).  The Bible names several sexual sins.  Jesus used the word pornea in Matthew 19:9 to mean all sexual immorality and encompass those sins the bible forbids such as adultery (Exodus 20:14; Luke 16:18), homosexuality (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; 1 Timothy 1:9-10), and fornication (1 Corinthians 5:1; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4).  These may seem acceptable and even promoted by current culture, but God’s ways are higher and He commands purity from those who follow Him (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). 

Our character, integrity, reputation, trust, and good name is tarnished by sexual sin (Proverbs 5:8-9). Solomon also said our wealth is stolen (v. 10).  How many times have I seen a man (and woman) driven by lust foolishly (and often secretly as they desire to keep evil deeds in the dark) spend money on gratifying sexual sins (pornography, prostitution, adultery, etc.) and even worse end up losing their business, marriage, and having success and possessions taken away!  This is what Solomon meant by, “Lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.”  He warned how sexual sin would leave one empty and in a lifetime of regret (vv. 11-14).  Like Paul said, it is better to “flee sexual sin” (1 Corinthians 6:18) than burn everything down in lust (1 Corinthians 7:9).

Solomon instructed his readers and us today to “drink water from our own cistern” (v. 15).  Men, be faithful to your spouse and if you are not married, remain sexually pure until marriage.  God is able to forgive sexual sin but not without its consequences.  We reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7-9).  The “running water from your own well” in verse 15 indicated purity in a monogamous marriage. Verses 17-19 prove you can be fulfilled for a lifetime with your spouse.  Stop flirting with that person who is not your spouse.  Reserve flirting, intimate conversations, and all sexuality for your spouse.  Stop believing the lie that “the grass is greener on the other side”.  That’s usually because it is built over a septic tank!  You can be faithful and satisfied with your spouse for a lifetime! Purity begins with wisdom (v. 1), is sustained by discipline (v. 23), and results in satisfaction, blessing, and true love (v. 18-19).

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Stephen and his wife Haley have called Arkansas home all of their lives. Stephen has served in several ministry roles over the last 25 years and as a lead pastor for the last 8 years. Stephen attended Williams Baptist College and earned a BA in Biblical Studies from Ouachita Baptist University, an MA, MDiv, and DMin in Christian Leadership and Pastoral Ministries from Liberty University. When not pastoring, Stephen enjoys running, cycling, reading, writing, camping, fishing, and spending time with his family.

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