stephen R Harrison

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…” (Isaiah 30:15). That has been my “theme verse” during my sabbatical this past month. Repentance, rest, salvation, quietness, trust, strength…all topics I asked the Lord to teach me during this gracious gift from my wonderful church. My, how I’ve missed them! I received so many texts, cards, letters, and calls of encouragement before I left. My favorites were from several elementary kids in our church! Some of them made me laugh so hard. Some of them made me tear up. They all brought joy. It was so hard to disconnect from such a loving group of brothers and sisters – dear eternal friends! It was difficult to say no to kids camp, even harder not to show up to VBS, two of my favorite times of ministry. There were a couple of moments of loving some of my church through extreme difficulty, sorrow, and suffering, but for the most part, my sabbatical gave me time to be with the Lord and with my family in a way that I had not experienced, truly, since a forced extended stay at home with the rest of the world in 2020. 

I’m most proud of such a wonderful church and staff that continued and flourished in ministry without me. I’d be dishonest to say I didn’t have the thoughts of “Will they miss me? What if it tanks? What if people leave the church? What if I miss out on something?” You know what some of my other thoughts were? “What if it goes better without me? What if the church likes the other guys preaching better (I do)? What if it grows? (it did!)” You know what? One of the greatest, and most humbling, compliments I received today was, “Pastor, we missed you, but your staff led so well without you.” I knew they would. They are rockstars! What a team! It reinforced something I already realized: the church doesn’t revolve around me. Jesus is the head of his body, and he will build his church. He doesn’t need me to try and be a superstar, but he desires for me to be fully connected with his church through worshipping, serving, and loving. I’m so thankful to be part of my church and humbled to lead as pastor, but a great sign of a healthy church is that it strives to maintain the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace, seeks to mature to the full measure of Christ, grows and builds itself up in in love, with each part doing their work of the ministry as members of one body (see Ephesians 4). I can’t wait to see them this Sunday! 

I am extremely thankful for the extended time with my family. We played, vacationed, laughed, lingered, and I found myself being silly and not so serious with them. I needed that. God confirmed once again how much I love my wife and kids and how much of a gift they are! I read a couple of books: “Mondays with my Old Pastor: Reminders from Those Who Have Walked Before Us” by Jose Navajo and “Sensing Jesus: Life and Ministry as a Human Being” by Zach Eswine. I journaled about a verse a day through James 1 and 2. Our family attended church at some of the other Summit churches. I tiled a bathroom. I took several naps. Surprisingly, I didn’t go fishing. I found myself a little “ancy” at times, feeling like I needed to “get up and do something”. Those “dashboard warning lights” indicated some anxiousness I needed the Lord to work out of me. A big takeaway was learning to slow down and be more present with Jesus and family. Abiding in Christ unhurried, without pressure of a deadline or meeting, was so sweet to my soul. When I got fidgety, it’s like the Lord said, “Be still. Know that I am God. Where are you going? What could you do that’s better than spending time with me?” Without him, we can do nothing. 

I’m not sure if you noticed, but the verse I quoted at the beginning of this (Isaiah 30:15) has more to it. It ends with, “But you would have none of it”. I’ve been there too many times. Far too often, I would have none of slowing down and resting in the Lord. That’s why this sabbatical (and the continued habit of weekly days of sabbath) was so refreshing to my soul. When we aren’t in an enduring state of abiding, repenting, resting, quietness, trusting the Lord, we shrivel up and die! Oh, how foolish we are to think we can achieve any of those or more without time with him! “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you…to show you compassion…blessed are all who wait on him” (Isaiah 30:18). A couple of things he healed in me were some griefs over the loss of previous ministry and the loss of my dad. I’ve thought about both every day for a few years. The Lord brought peace I’ve longed for in my heart and mind. Grief can muffle the voice of the Lord and stifle his joy. When we don’t take those to the Lord, our healer, we can be left playing the “what if” game repeatedly and end up losing badly every time. My favorite verse of Isaiah 30 is verse 21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” Oh, how I needed to stop and listen to the voice of the Lord and then walk in company with him once again concerning these burdens! His grace is sufficient in our weaknesses. What I’ve found most profound in doing that is not necessarily the clarity of direction or certainty of an answer but the contentment of his presence. “In his presence is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11).

I’m still processing a list of questions. I wrote some of them before and most of them during. I’m not sure I have the complete answers to all of them, but I desire to be sensitive to the Spirit and obedient to the Word. Mostly, I’m humbled for this gift, ready to return to the work (and joy) of ministry, thankful for my wife and kids, and expectant for the continued work the Lord began in me.