stephen R Harrison

One of the worst hurts is church hurt. This is true for at least two ways. First, it distorts our view of God. He is a loving Father, a caring Shepherd, a just King, a gracious Savior, and infinitely more. When we experience hurt or disappointment from those meant to represent Him, it can feel like a contradiction to His true nature, shaping our perception of Him negatively. We may even blame God for others’ actions, projecting our pain onto Him. Second, church hurt damages our connection with fellow believers. We wonder why they act in ways that don’t reflect God’s character. I often say that the church isn’t perfect because it’s composed of imperfect people—sinful saints and flawed misfits. While this doesn’t justify harmful actions, it helps explain why they happen. 

When you’ve experienced Church hurt, it can be tempting to give up on the church. I’ve been hurt in various ways over the years by people in the church, including leadership, small group members, church staff, and even those I’ve tried to help and serve. The reality is that the closer you step into relationships in the church, the greater the chance you’ll open yourself up to being hurt. This is true of any relationship. The deeper we go, the more vulnerable we become. One thing is certain. While the body may at times cause pain, the Head of the Church will never hurt you. Challenge you? Yes. Correct you? Please. Rebuke you? Thank you. Love you? Always. Colossians 1:18 tells us, “And he is the head of the body, the church.” It’s his. He started it, gave it purpose, and knows how to lead and correct it. He promised he would build it, and not even the gates of hell would stop it (Matthew 16:18). We must remind ourselves of this prevailing truth.

As a pastor, I often return to Paul’s charge to the Ephesian elders in Acts 20:28: “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.” What a sobering reminder: Jesus gave His life for the church. It belongs to Him. It is His body, His bride, His family, and the household of God. It also reminds us to watch our own character and actions first as we lead so we don’t hurt the church for which he bled and died. We know Jesus is the Head of the universal Church, but what about the local church that caused the hurt? Often, the pain comes not from the whole church but from one or two people within it. Our hope is that if Jesus is the Head of the Church universally, He is also the Head of each local church personally. When a church drifts off course or wounds its members, the Head knows how to bring correction and healing. Even if a local church dissolves, disappoints, damages, or detonates, rest assured, the universal body of Christ perseveres, and the Head of the Church knows how to heal and love His people.

Jesus sacrificed Himself for the church and continues to advocate for it. He sees you and understands how to heal even the deepest wounds. Church hurt is real, but it doesn’t have to end your faith journey. Scripture provides steps for reconciliation (Matthew 18:15-17). The Spirit of God comforts us and guides us to His Word of truth. He is the Prince of Peace. He teaches us how to forgive. Remember, the same Jesus who called us out of darkness into His church is the one who can bring healing, transformation, reconciliation, and grace within it. In your pain, know you are not alone. Jesus sees you and is gentle toward you. His grace is enough. He is our hope. Don’t give up on Jesus and His church.